Here I go again, like a recurring bad dream I look in the mirror on the morning of my interview. I am afraid that what I see looking back at me, may be a victim. The circumstances around this interview are out of my control for now. But given the opportunity to communicate, then I may be back in the driver’s seat controlling my own destiny. Most people have encountered bullying in the playground but are not aware that it extends much further than that. Some people aren’t even aware that they are being bullied and think that they are just having a bad day.
To show that I am a genuine contender for this job and not to be victimised, I now must place myself in a position to take control of the situation. Understanding the process of communication is the essence of taking control. To put it simply, it is the skill of examining the message, understanding and verifying the intention, and correctly interpreting its delivery. To be effective, once verified, my response should also be immediate and assertive.
So now the paperwork or transfer of information in the initial interview is done, and I’m placed on the short list. Sitting in the foyer along with the other candidates, waiting for the “big guy” to arrive, I am contemplating the barrage of questions by the “big guy” (the CEO). At the tail end of my working career, I have been bullied by bureaucrats, bewildered by barristers, and baffled by the best of office bunglers bearing bad news. Having done this many times before, I’m comfortable with the proceedings so far, and I have a good idea of what will happen next.
An elderly mentor once recited the following saying for me to decipher. He said once I understood what was meant by that saying, then it would prepare me for what I may encounter in my aspirations. It goes like this… “Banter with Bullies, Bluster the Bureaucrats, Bemuse Barristers, but be amazed with Baristas”. The impact of those words took some time to take effect. Understanding the play on those words, eventually made the difference to me gaining confidence in examining intentions in a compelling situation. I later realised that all the occupations and categories in that saying are very skilled in their trade and have similar intentions toward taking control but more importantly, while in appreciation of their skills, I should know the difference between skill and bluster and not fall victim of their intended control.
My understanding of “Bullying” is, that it is the aggressive behaviour intended to physically, mentally or emotionally hurt, utilising a misrepresentation of the truth in order to gain control. Bullying encountered during employment is commonplace and the not so obvious, is when you are being “managed out”, otherwise known as progressive dismissal. This is illegal but its intention is for you to succumb by quitting anyway so the employer can label it as a “mutual agreement”. It has happened to me many times and yes, it hurts.
Another behaviour which most casual employees will encounter regularly in their endeavours and who will fail to see it as bullying, is after submitting an employment application, when enquiring about the success of that application, the enquirer is sometimes intentionally diverted. The contact name that was given is usually not made available to discuss the matter. This tactic is to have you patiently wait while placing you in a pool of applicants for later extraction as current staff wise-up to their exploited conditions and leave. This behaviour also clears the employer of discrimination.
The twist is that employers can also be bullied by government. When some employers have you hang there in fear of missing out, when in actual fact they can’t afford to engage you and consequently make inequitable statements, or if they do engage you, then you find yourself placed in an obscure category that does not match your job description or qualification. This area of bullying is brought about by poor government policies which burden inadequately trained government bureaucrats, placing pressure on the employer to offer you unachievable benefits and compensations. This in turn places employers under financial stress and exacerbates their bullying. Have you noticed that the term permanent isn’t really permanent any more? Tackling the roots of this divisive and detrimental behaviour is by voting for politicians or parties that will take responsibility for their implementations and exposing the ones that will not take that responsibility.
Bullying is not restricted to the work place. It takes place more often than you think and comes in many different forms. It is important to be aware that another form of unidentified bullying is utilised by the legal fraternity. You can be blind-sided by a legal practitioner deliberately threatening court action with false accusations that are intentionally designed to bluff and rattle your judgement. It is intended to place you under stress and may coerce you toward their preferred outcome. It is not nice when it happens, and many would find the experience hurtful and emotionally draining which may in turn provoke a detrimental response. But you must recognise the symptoms immediately. While knowing your rights and recognising that the accusations are false, you must react assertively with a counter, inferring that it is NOT OKAY to use those tactics. This then will place you on even ground and the bullying should stop. If it doesn’t, you should know your rights and be prepared to act on those rights. Otherwise be prepared to cut your losses to limit the energy and financial expenditure. You then move on with a firm parting statement which informs them that you are aware of their tactics. This will redirect the pressure to bear on their next decision or highlight the weakness in their strategy. Most importantly, it will be clear to them that you are not the victim they were hoping to target.
Getting back to my story…. The CEO arrives and beckons me into his office. He glances through my application, scans my resume and without raising his head from the folder, shifts his eyes in my direction. His lips stretches slightly to almost a commanding grin. He then utters a bombastic question as if to land the killer blow in an easy joust hoping to unhorse me. “How come you have only lasted 2 years at any job?…… He had hardly taken his next breath when I assertively returned… “If you are here in 2 years time so will I be.” What could he say?… The expression on his face was now a definite smile of touché…. so he said “Welcome aboard. Can you commence work at the beginning of the next pay week?”
We all must turn it around from what we are lead to believe so as to drive behavioural change. On a bigger scale, we must have some awareness of this aggressive and unkind misuse of power and position. This behaviour continues to show a serious lack of respect to one’s integrity, and if we do nothing, it then will eventually allow us to become casualties of Kleptocratic vandalism. Seeing it on a global scale, it will ignite an unwanted war. No matter how you look upon it or at what level, it is Bullying and should not be tolerated.
